I’m pretty sure that everyone’s life changed on March 25th of 2019, when one of the greatest artists at the moment released her first album. With only 18 years old, she has accomplished a bunch of Grammys, and has stayed for months on the top of the Billboard 100. She pretty much represents our entire centennial generation. She’s an idol and a role model for many young girls like me. You must know already whom I’m talking about. Of course, it’s Billie Eilish.
Till Billie, I hadn’t found an artist who made me nuts. I had liked other singers like Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber, but each of them felt more like a phase. I followed them ‘cause every girl of my age did. I wasn’t a true fan. I liked their music, though they didn’t move me like Billie did.
I became a fan right in the start of her career. I listened to her first single, Ocean Eyes in 2016, and immediately loved her. I craved desperately for more. I had to wait 3 long years to hear more of her. Definitely worth it. I used to love and look up to her so much until 2 months ago when those feelings and admiration faded away completely. They turned into the opposite. I hated her! She destroyed my life!
Like every other Billie Eilish fan, I wanted to look like her. At first I just bought similar clothes. Hoodies and sweaters became my new fashion style. I also tried using long fake fingernails. That didn’t worked out. I kept breaking them up.
I did any other dumb thing that could make me look at least a little similar to her. It started with tiny and harmless changes. Then, I decided to go for a change a bit more drastic. I dyed my hair. I had never dye my hair before. I was kind of scare but at the same time I wanted to feel close to Billie, so I went for it.
My first try wasn’t successful. My hair didn’t absorb well the dye and mom said it was do to a poor quality product. She told me to buy a new one or my hair would be severely damaged. So I listened to her. Even more scared than the previous time, I applied it to my hair. It worked! I was so relief! I looked just like Billie! One day a girl stopped me at the streets to ask me for a picture. She was so excited. OMG… She thought I was Billie Eilish! I felt awesome!
Three weeks later…Billie got a hair makeover. What? Why? Gosh! I couldn’t stay with her old hairstyle. I had to change it again. Once more, I dye my hair just like her. I couldn’t lose what I had accomplished, right?
After many experiments, my hair began to look like a straw. A horse could think it was its food. You could do a scarecrow with my hair. It was incredibly damaged… What the hell, right? At least I looked similar to my idol; that was the only thing I wanted.
And it got worse. Little by little, my hair began to fall out and now…now… Now I’m bald!!! Could there be anything worse than this? People think I’m sick! And mom, instead of supporting me, she keeps saying, “I told you so” in a very annoying tone of voice.
I look like a freak and I don’t know how to change it. My life has changed thanks to this. My boyfriend Kyle left me because he didn’t sign up for dating a bald girl. That’s mean, dude! He still says it’s not because of my lack of hair, but because I wasn’t being myself. He told me that being madly obsessed with becoming Billie Eilish wasn’t healthy and I had to stop immediately. My friends won’t talk to me either.
My family, boyfriend and friends abandoned me in this situation. I’m all alone. Do they think that I’m enjoying this? Being bald? Not even a bit. Some girls rock their short hair or bald style…not me. I am a 12 years boy right now. I feel like a total mess. I hate it! I’m so ugly! I don’t know how to live like this!
Should I write a letter to Billie telling her my story and see if I get a response? Maybe she feels sorry for me and writes me back to give me support and courage. Some artists do that type of stuff. I hope she does…. That would mean THE WORLD to me.
In the meantime, the only thing I can do is to buy a wig and wait for my hair to eventually grow. I realized I was indeed obsessed with Billie Eilish, and that I had change. Now, I know no obsession is good for you. I’ll try to chill out a bit. I hope soon everything gets back to normal and I can win back my friends. Kyle can get lost forever!
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